Wednesday, 3 August 2016

Why I'm Done Being Someone I'm Not.

I've had this little blog since January, so about 8 months now, and it's really not taken off the way I wanted it to. I mean personally, anyway - not like in the great scheme of things cos really, who expects that when they start blogging? I'm talking about within myself. I expected me to crank out a couple of posts a week at least, and really get into what I was writing about. I started off wanting to write all about my passions - beauty, fashion, and food. So, you may ask, what went so wrong?

I think I was just trying to be someone I'm just really, really not.

Like see those glossy blogs, naming no names, that are so slick you die a little inside cos you don't live their life? Who have to-die-for wardrobes, every latest beauty launch going and just generally seem like flawless human beings?

I was striving so, so hard to come across like one of those. But in reality, I'm just so far removed from that it's funny.

Like, I can barely bring myself to have more than some cookies for breakfast sometimes, rather than instagramming my avo toast with a perfect filter. I don't have slim, permanently sun kissed legs to take pictures next to my cup of green tea (I live in Scotland, the only way I can get sun kissed is fake tan, and I'm so bloody bad at that it's laughable). I don't even get dressed somedays, cos I'm on holiday at the mo' and stayed in my bed till 1pm is the life. 

I mean absolutely no offence to those who call the above their life. In fact, have a round of applause, because I want your life, so much so that I pretended I had that life.

And I'm pretty tired of it. I think that it's the reason why I haven't been as motivated about this blog as  I should have been, 'cos I'm proud of the way it looks - just not the content.

And I'm going to start over.

Hi, I'm Abigail. I'm a teacher. And like I've already said in this blog, I do absolutely love marble, copper, rose gold, winged eyeliner, Starbucks Green Tea Lemonade, and that all sounds cliche blogger, no?

Underneath that, there's the fact my friends and family call me Miranda, after Miranda Hart, because I am literally the character in real life (sounds funny, but sometimes, is just dead embarrassing). I get my words muddled up when I speak sometimes, and things come out backwards. I think I'm allergic to colour in my wardrobe. I really only wear Nike trainers cos comfort > everything else. I would eat doughnuts for every meal if someone let me. I always pick my nail varnish off. And I've not got a perfect blogger life, not by any matter of means. But I am always friendly, warm, and I think I've got a half decent sense of humour, and  I can write pretty darn well too. Living life as Miranda means I'm not embarrassed to take the mick out of myself, either.

I'm still going to write about my passions on this blog. But I think it's time I started being a little more - me. I hope it'll inspire me to write more, knowing I can be myself and not a caricature.

I hope it's the start of a beautiful thing over here.